🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. Our recommendation is all of our clients to invest all their resources into preserved goods and firearms.” That bit of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, articulate, glasses-wearing member of the oozy monster mob that infests Manhattan’s super-smart Clamp Tower skyscraper in helmer Joe Dante’s zany follow-up Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Superficially, it’s nothing more than an investment tip from one monster to another. Yet, oddly enough, it’s also pretty solid life guidance. Honestly, hear me out.

When things go bad, the worst thing you can do is approach matters with excessive gravity. The Brain Gremlin comprehends this. Actually, the majority of the dentally-gifted beasts that inhabit Dante’s chaotic 1990 feature (arguably his best) possess the same wry, meta funny bone regarding the blurry line separating everyday life and unadulterated chaos. It’s a particular aspect of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that ensures my return – and the older I get, it’s the message that strikes the deepest chord.

A Childhood Fascination

Naturally, my attachment to this movie wasn’t born on such an deeply thoughtful note. As a child, we only had a few scratched-up video tapes at home. Among them were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a chunky ex-rental box probably bought from an independent video outlet and featuring growling monsters on its tattered front. I was right away smitten and these films wasted no time embedding themselves inside my tiny, impressionable mind. From then on, they became an almost-daily part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s original commonly garners all the praise, thanks largely to its legacy as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. That said, its sequel infrequently obtains the same level of high regard, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d invariably jump at the prospect to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d lock myself inside and play it. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. Gradually, it became deeply rooted in my mindset. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they gave no indication of concern.

Deeper Discoveries and Societal Nuggets

As I matured, new insights rewarded frequent screenings, heightening the enjoyment of watching little green monsters joyously wreck a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was modeled closely on the later-to-be-president Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his second wife Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his actual-world equivalent.

The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during maximum monster mayhem? I discovered it was modeled after a real-life “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner as a contingency for the world actually met its demise. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film alternate cuts of a self-aware scene where Gremlins take over the actual feature in progress. An edit for movie houses, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each offering a winking bit of meta pop-culture magic before the term was even a thing.

A Persistent Appeal

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s gloriously nasty-looking creatures that caught my eye as a child, this hidden treasure maintained my fascination as an adult. Ultimately, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no qualms revealing to me he made the movie with the direct intention of poking fun at those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he happily revealed. This Looney Tunes-esque rebelliousness and resolve to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only increased my affection for it.

When I experienced a abrupt familial death earlier this year, I was surprised to find that, during my heightest mourning, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Odd, no? Perhaps not. The comforting familiarity it furnished was needed to thin out my mind’s mourning mire – but the stuff it had bestowed upon me as an adult were equally valuable.

Like Gremlins tearing apart a genetics laboratory, there’s particular aspects in life you just can’t control. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to be like them: embrace the chaos, put everything you’ve got into canned food and shotguns and try not to take things too seriously.

It’s strong life advice from a very unlikely source – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my go-to cinematic solace.