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One Side: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?